


fish and water, or something like that

by catboxjellyfish



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Chinguline, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:49:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4724762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catboxjellyfish/pseuds/catboxjellyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like a fish out of water, Baekhyun only realizes what and who is precious around him until it's a little too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fish and water, or something like that

**Author's Note:**

> Image credit: http://onblossom.tumblr.com/

 

> _If I disappear tomorrow, will you miss me?_
> 
> _Will fish miss water?_
> 
> _I don’t think fish knows it needs water._
> 
> _Not until the water is gone at least_
> 
> _Don’t you think that be too late?_
> 
> _Maybe, but until you actually disappear, how will I know if I’d miss you?_
> 
> _Then I’m leaving._
> 
> _Alright, remember to bring back souvenirs :D_
> 
> _… Good bye, Baekhyun._
> 
> _Bye!_
> 
> _Wait are you serious?_
> 
> _Jongdae?_
> 
> _Hello?_
> 
> _… Dae? D:_
> 
> _KIM JONGDAE!_
> 
> _… Well, fuck you too!_

\---

That was their last conversation from exactly 14 days and 5 hours ago. Baekhyun is sure because he has been keeping track of the passing time. He kept track because, well, he isn’t sure himself why he decided to do so, but he did and he is very close to start counting the minutes as well. Glaring at the message history for the third time within the last five minutes, he grunts in frustration and tosses the phone onto the bed before he does so with himself. Face planted in his messy blanket, he hopes that if he suffocates himself for long enough, maybe he will forget about the other man from the lack of oxygen. Alas, his plan fails after merely minutes when his instinct to survive triumphs over his stupidity, thankfully, and gasping for air, he lies red faced, staring up at his bare ceiling. In his moment of dizziness, Jongdae’s feline like smile resurfaces in his mind and shutting his eyes, Baekhyun lets out a miserable, feeble sigh.

He admits defeat; he needs to see Jongdae, now. Life has been nothing but torture and the void in his heart is about to eat him alive. He can’t run from his feelings any longer.

Since 14 days, 5 hours and approximately 5 minutes ago, the other man has completely disappeared from Baekhyun’s side and he seems to have cut off all forms of contact as well. His phone still rings when Baekhyun calls, but he never picks up. All the messages are delivered and read, but they are never replied. For the first week, Baekhyun gave no extra thoughts because he thought maybe Jongdae was just busy. However by the second week, an uneasy feeling started to haunt him and a gaping hole of emptiness tear open deep inside of him.

As days went by, it finally dawned upon him that the other man was avoiding him and within a matter of hours, his emotions fluctuated from anger, to irritated confusion, then sadness, and eventually it mellowed out to disappointment as he felt abandoned and deserted. He doesn’t understand what he possibly could have done to deserve this cruelty. Well, maybe he does but at the time, he was yet ready to admit it.

Ever since they met at a house party a year ago, through their respective best friends who started dating, Baekhyun and Jongdae clicked with each other like soul mates reunited. They instantly became the best of mates and the perfect partners in crime, wreaking havoc wherever they went. Inseparable, they shared everything from books, to food and drinks, and before long, they even shared bed as they found it increasingly difficult to keep their hands to themselves. Caressing and pleasuring each other until sunlight replaced moonlight, every night Baekhyun relished in his good luck of meeting Jongdae. He has never met anyone he felt so comfortable with, someone who understood him so well, and in those wondrous months, Baekhyun thought he was truly happy. They never really spoke of relationships and they were both content with what they had. More than friends and not yet lovers, no strings attached and no commitment; for a while, everything was happiness and sunshine.

But sunny days are not limitless and the storms are always just lurking beyond the horizon. Eventually, feelings always get involved and complications inevitably arise. Before he could catch himself, Jongdae fell head over heels in love with his new friend, who neither had the interest or heart for love. Baekhyun didn’t believe in love and he repelled love. Having watched his mother crumble from her divorce and how the supposed love between his parents destroyed her until she was a mere shadow of herself from before, he became wary of falling in love. So when Jongdae confessed his feelings to him, Baekhyun’s first thought was to run and push the other as far away as possible. But he did not, for something held him back. He has become so reliant on Jongdae’s presence that he could no longer let go of the man as he has with his previous flings. He realized that as much as he feared falling in love, he feared saying goodbye to Jongdae even more.

Despite knowing his decision would be unfair to the other man, Baekhyun chose to be selfish anyway. Smiling beautifully, just like how he always did whenever his mother asked if he was fine, Baekhyun kissed Jongdae and drowned them both in a whirlwind of lust and desires. He never answered the other’s confession and he never intended to; he just hoped that Jongdae would one day forget about it and things would return to their normal courses. He prayed that the other man will soon realize what he felt towards him was perhaps no more than an infatuation, an attachment that developed because they spent so much time together. However, he was just lying to himself and refused to face Jongdae’s feelings with the proper respect the other deserves.

Days and months went by and Baekhyun tugged Jongdae along by his feelings, taking advantage of the other’s love for him to mend the wound of loneliness left from childhood. In love and much a fool, Jongdae catered to his whims and selfishness; they met whenever Baekhyun wanted and they loved whenever Baekhyun was in the mood. But Jongdae too is human and so he too gets hurt. How does one not hurt as he watches the one he loves laugh in another’s arms and exchanges kisses with strangers in the night? Maybe he could wave off the pain with a smile one time, but he could not do so after a hundred times.  Yet blind to it all, purposely so of his own accord, Baekhyun continued his ambiguous and unfair relationship with Jongdae. Even though he knew full well he was hurting the other man, he still refused to give him a conclusive answer because every time he thought of Jongdae moving on to love someone else, his heart would pinch sharply with pain. In his mind, he was already used to the idea of Jongdae loving him and only him, and that no matter what, the man with the mischievous smile will always love him. But Baekhyun seem to have forgotten that like him, Jongdae also craved to be loved.

\---

It has already been 14 days, 5 hours and approximately 15 minutes since their last conversation and Baekhyun is sitting cross legged on his bed. One of his hands is holding the phone to his ear as his other pinched at his lips from nervousness.  This is his fourth attempt of calling Chanyeol; his first attempt ended in disaster and the rest were ignored.

He has been searching for Jongdae for the past couple of days but to no avail; the man really is doing a splendid job of hiding from him. When his own efforts were fruitless, he knew then that his only hope of locating Jongdae would be through Kyungsoo, Jongdae’s best friend, and thank goodness the little devil was dating Chanyeol, his best friend, or else Baekhyun would really feel helpless. Ever since the cake incident last Christmas, it is sufficient to say that the relationship between Kyungsoo and Baekhyun are strained.

After what seemed like forever, the dial tone is finally replaced by Chanyeol’s hushed and urgent voice.

“What, what do you want, Baekhyun? Stop calling!”

“Chanyeol, you need to tell me where Jongdae is. I know you know where he is because Kyungsoo knows where he is and you know everything he knows because you guys practically wear the same pair of pants walking down the street so tell me!”

Baekhyun huffs slightly as he waits for his best friend’s answer. Chanyeol is hesitating on the other end and he could almost see a hint of hope.

“Sorry Baek, but I can’t tell you. Kyungsoo said you’d call again and I can only repeat what he told you,” the giant apologizes sadly, “I’ll get in trouble with him if I tell you.”

Baekhyun grunts and he whines into his phone through gritted teeth.

“Chanyeol, he told me and I quote, that even if I manage to find the Holy Grail, stop the progression of anthropogenic climate change, AND eat a piece of that cake I gave him last Christmas every day for the rest of my life, he won’t tell me where Jongdae is. Don’t you think that’s cruel?”

“Well… yes, but in Kyungsoo’s defence you were being a king size dick to his best friend.”

“I’m always a king size dick!” Baekhyun screams suddenly, frustrated and ashamed with himself, “I know I’m a dick and for once I am actually feeling sorry for being a dick, so can’t you cut me some slack? Chanyeol, please! Help me.”

There is a brief moment of silence on the other end of the phone before the giant sighs in defeat. Then he whispers for Baekhyun to listen carefully and the latter perks his ears in full attention. Then without another word, only the sound of his shuffling footsteps travels through the phone. Baekhyun frowns in confusion but before he could question his best friend, he hears faint voices having a conversation. Slowly, his eyes widen as he recognizes the voices and a few seconds later, the call cuts short. Dazing out at his phone for a moment, he snaps back when a message from Chanyeol flashes on the screen. Jumping off his bed as soon as he reads it, he makes a dash to his friend’s place.

_You’re not hallucinating. Come before he leaves_.

\---

10 minutes later or 14 days, 5 hours and approximately 40 minutes since their last conversation, Baekhyun is slouching and panting from exhaustion in front of Kyungsoo apartment door.  Chanyeol edges carefully towards the washroom as he smiles apologetically at his glaring boyfriend. Jongdae simply blinks at the sudden visitor and without even a bother with a greeting, he goes back to sipping on his tea.

“What a surprise to see you here, Baekhyun, haha…”

Chanyeol says a little too loudly from the hallway, attempting to break the tense silence in the air, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. Giving the panting man another sharp look, he allows Baekhyun inside his small apartment. However before he could unleash his wrath, Jongdae speaks up first.

“Kyungsoo, could I have a moment with Baekhyun please?”

“You can’t kick me out of my house.” Kyungsoo retorts and huffs up, his round eyes flaming and nostrils flaring, “If he has something to say, then he can just say it.”

Baekhyun looks from and to between Jongdae and Kyungsoo, who are now silently arguing with each other with their eyes, then he looks to Chanyeol for help. Gulping nervously, the giant sighs quietly before breaking out in an awkward chuckle and he wraps his arms around his boyfriend from the back.

“Hahaha, actually Kyungsoo and I need to go shopping for grocery, so the place is all yours, Jongdae!”

“What the hell are you talking about, you stupid giant? Let me go, Chanyeol!” Kyungsoo shouts as he struggles against the iron hold on his upper body, and unable to break free, he is involuntarily dragged to the front door. Still chuckling like a robot, Chanyeol grits his teeth at his boyfriend’s flying punches and he glares at Baekhyun, silently delivering the message ‘you owe me big time.’ Giving his best friend a thankful smile, Baekhyun nods and he bows deeply at the retreating duo.

“Let me go, Park Chanyeol! Park Chanyeol, you’re going to regret this! You’re so dead!”

The door shuts with a loud thump and Kyungsoo’s angry screams disappear down the hallway. A strange quietness fills the apartment and Baekhyun fidgets with his fingers as he stands solidly still in front of the man he has longed to see. On his way here, he thought of so many things to say but now, all those words have escaped him and he is left to stand with a blank mind like a fool. Coughing a little to ease his nerves, he coyly raises his head and flashes his usual soft grin.

“Why are you here?”

Jongdae’s harsh tone wipes the smile off of Baekhyun’s face instantly and the latter blinks pitifully.

“I… I wanted to see you,” he whispers and lowers his head again, “I missed you, Jongdae.”

“I don’t miss you.”

Baekhyun grimaces at the other’s curt answer but quickly recovers with a beautiful smile.

“Ouch, that hurts.”

The quiet returns and for a while, no words are exchanged between the two standing in the middle of the cozy living room. Both of their minds heavy with thoughts and words they are unsure of how to convey, they breathe steadily to the ticks of the clock on the wall. Blinking at the tip of their shoes, Baekhyun takes in a deep breath and starts to pour his heart out. 

“Jongdae, I want to apologize,” he says softly, his voice much lower in tone than usual and shaking slightly from regret and also perhaps fear, “I know you feel cheated and used for your emotions, and I am really sorry for doing that. I know that I’ve hurt you and I was unfair to you, but-”

“Then let me go,”Jongdae interrupts abruptly, “let’s put some space between us and let me move on.”

“No!” Baekhyun snaps his head up and looks straight into Jongdae’s angry eyes, “I mean… I don’t know what I mean but you can’t go! You can’t move on!”

“You know Byun Baekhyun, I am not obligated to you just because I love you,” Jongdae clicks his tone in annoyance and the volume of his voice progressively increases, “I am a fool for loving a selfish person like you. I deserve happiness too, you know! I also deserve to be loved!”

“Yes, yes you do! I know you do, Jongdae and I want you to have those things too, but I also don’t want you to leave me! I… I,” Baekhyun stutters on the verge of tear and stumping his feet in frustration, he breaks down in short chops of sobs.

Frowning, Jongdae watches on with concerned eyes and he is stunned at the mess of a man in front of him. He has never seen Baekhyun like this before, the young man who usually excels in controlling his emotions and masking himself. Strings of unbroken tear drops glide down his cheeks and Baekhyun lets them drop without a care. His hands are clenching tightly to the edge of his shirt like a child, his knuckles all white, and his shoulders hitch up and down with each utter of broken sobs.

“I just, I’m, like a fish, out of water, and, water, you asked if fish would, miss the water,” he stutters somewhat incoherently with his eyes shut tight and sniffling in his dripping snot, more tears tumble down his cheeks, “The thought, of you dis-sappearing from, my, my life, it scares me. It’s as, scary as, fish out of, water. I, I know, I’m being super, un-unfair, but don’t go, Jongdae. Don’t leave me. I-I can, give you, happiness, too. I promise, I’ll, I’ll try really hard! I… Uwwwooo…”

Unable to watch any longer, Jongdae envelopes the crying man into a tight hug and gently, he hushes the latter and tries to calm him.

“Shh, breathe. I’m not going anywhere.”

“B-but, you, were thinking, of going! The fish, water, you were going, to leave!”

“Oh my god, enough with the fish and water,” Jongdae whispers with a dry chuckle, “I’m not going anywhere right now am I? So calm down and breathe, okay? You’re getting snot on my shirt.”

Baekhyun sneezes suddenly and feeling a patch of wetness on his shoulder, Jongdae pulls away and gawks unbelievingly at the other man. Taking a big sniffle, the crying man apologizes with a stuffy nose.

“S-Sorry…”

Jongdae sighs deeply and he rubs his temple with one hand while keeping the other on Baekhyun’s shoulder. Looking closely at the other’s swollen eyes rimmed red with tears, his heart softens.

“Baekhyun, you’re not in love with me, are you?”

“What?”

“I said, you’re not in love with me, are you?”

The puppy eyed man blinks blankly and takes another sniffle. Then slowly, as the clogs in his brain work to process the question and reflect on his own actions for the past 14 days and approximately 6 hours, a dark blush tints his entire face from neck to forehead. Surprised, Jongdae too blinks blankly, unsure of what to do.

“W-wait, you are?”

Mechanically, Baekhyun nods with his face resembling a tomato and he continues to blink, wordless. A gust of wind blows into the small apartment from the opened window and it provides some much needed fresh air for Jongdae’s overwhelmed mind.

“…And you just realized now, didn’t you?”

Baekhyun nods again and suddenly embarrassed, he hides his face in his hands and lets out a ear splitting scream.

“AHHH!!”

“Wah! What? Why are you screaming?”

“Ahhh!! I am so embarrassed!”

“Why is being in love with me embarrassing??”

“No it’s embarrassing that I cried in front of you because I didn’t realize I was in love and… gaahh I finally understand now what Kyungsoo meant when he said he feels so embarrassed he could die!!”

“Well you can’t die because you promised you’d give me happiness!”

Holding firmly onto Baekhyun’s wrist, Jongdae pulls the other’s hands away from his blushing face and their eyes lock. Glancing unblinkingly at each other, they soon break out in an uncontrollable laugh as they lean forward and press their foreheads together. In between his sniffles, Baekhyun stamps pecks of kisses on Jongdae’s curved mouth as the latter wraps him tightly within his arms.

“You’re so stupid, Baekhyun.”

“You’re not much better off, Jongdae, since you love someone who’s stupid.”

“Maybe so, but that’s alright.”

“Yah, it’s alright.”

\---

It has been 14 days, 6 hours and… well Baekhyun has already lost track of the time but he no longer needs to keep count anymore. Gently, the new lovers kiss over and over again, as if savouring the sweet taste of the moment. The mischievous sparkles return in Jongdae’s crescent shaped eyes as he takes in his new boyfriend’s swollen lids, red nose tip and blushing cheeks, and he cannot help chuckle. Baekhyun joins in as he appreciates the tiny laugh wrinkles around Jongdae’s eyes and waves of giddiness wash over his body. Perhaps love is not as bad as he thinks, Baekhyun ponders and he nuzzles into his love’s embrace.  

“I guess I love you, Kim Jongdae.”

“Uh huh, you bet you do. And I love you, Byun Baekhyun.”

“Good… so when do you think Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are coming back, you think we have time to, you know?”

Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows suggestively but before Jongdae could push him down and ravish him with kisses, the door bursts open and Kyungsoo storms in, tailed by Chanyeol who is rubbing the side of his arms with a sour expression.

“Get out of my house, now!”

The new couple laugh heartily at their raging friend. Both blowing Kyungsoo exaggerated kisses, much to the scowling man’s annoyance, they quickly leave the apartment hand in hand before something ‘accidently’ makes contact with their heads. Watching as their friends disappear behind the door with light, happy steps, Chanyeol tenderly wraps his arms around his boyfriend from behind and Kyungsoo’s expression softens.

“See, told you everything will work out.”

“Hm…” the shorter man hums and leans into the hug, “let’s hope they’ll last.”

“I’m sure they will,” Chanyeol grins and twirls the shorter man around to face him, “now, where were we before Jongdae came?”

A shriek follows by rumbles of giggles echo throughout the room. Oh love, how sweet~

\---

**FIN.**

* * *

 

Afterwards – Jongdae & Kyungsoo Convo

> _Hey, Kyungsoo. Thanks again for the other day._
> 
> _Mm. You’re welcome._
> 
> _Btw, in case you’re wondering, we are still getting it on really well, like rabbits._
> 
> _OMG, TMI. Bye._
> 
> _LOL come on, I know you’re curious!_
> 
> _BYE._

 

Afterwards – Baekhyun & Chanyeol Convo

> _Hey bro_
> 
> _Hey what’s up_
> 
> _;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)_
> 
> _LMAO nice!_
> 
> _Yep! K, later bro._
> 
> _Later!_

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS FOR OPPAR BENNIE!  
> Like chenbaek/baekchen >:D


End file.
